Stopping to smell the roses . . . .

Antique Roses Print by Danhui Nai

You know, as fast as this world runs, sometimes you have to slam your foot on the brakes and just take a moment to smell the air, listen to the birds. Close your eyes and inhale deeply and let it out really slowly, as if you have all day to do that kind of thing.

When we are running around and caught up in the doing, it's so difficult to really enjoy and appreciate each other. I'm enjoying my husband so much right now, I almost feel guilty! On the one hand, I know we deserve this incredible pocket of happiness after coming through those OH so long very lean years. On the other hand, I keep looking over my shoulder wondering if one or both of us is about to die or something, because it just isn't normal for people to actually like each other at this stage is it? (16 years of marriage this July)

The other day, we visited Mr. Hayes' goat dairy in Thorsby, and we all stood around chatting while he went about the business of milking his goats.It's really odd (for me) to be in a room with 2 men talking about (and using the word) "tits" and having no negative reaction at all. I was watching Monty as he learned more and more about the dairy operation and about the goats. I watched as he petted each goat as she entered her stall and started eating. He just glowed with excitement. I kept thinking as I watched, "Man, he's SO hot! Look how handsome he is!" That's been happening quite a bit lately with us, and it's SO great. It's like a gift.

A similar thing keeps happening with the children. I will catch myself looking at them, not as my children, but as little people. I'll think of them as their teachers might see them, or as friends of mine might see them on their first meeting. And I like them. I LIKE my children. I would like them if they weren't mine. I always tell Jessica, my oldest - 13, "It would be so cool just to be your friend, because I like you, but I'm your mom. I have to say no and I have to say the hard things." Then I'll catch a glimpse of her playing with her sisters by choice, and I just take one of those moments and close my eyes and breathe in deeply and let it out slowly and pray that the camera in my mind will keep that image.

Then I'll watch Noah outside with the baby goat he's bottle-feeding and with the puppy. I take a moment and think about how far this child has come with responsibility and with self-control and I'm just amazed. This is a busy, happy boy. Right now, I'm lying in bed typing and listening to him giggle at a Calvin and Hobbes book. That laughter is music to my ears.

Annie and Lizzy are like conjoined twins. Today, I was watching them. They each got their Nintendo DS games and both sat in one recliner, scrunched together, playing some game that they both have and discussing tricks and tips to "win" the game. They do everything together, and they are each others' best friend! These girls are the reason to have your children close together.

The one positive thing that has come from Dad's long illness and death, is that I think I know better how to live each day as if maybe I won't have another. All throughout each day when I'm faced with accomplishing something on a list vs. listening to my girls sing a song or show me a new piece of art, or my big kids wanting to show me something they've written or read, I'm doing better at choosing those things that MATTER, those things my children will remember over Mom having the laundry washed and folded at all times. I sat with my girls today and ate popsicles with them and laughed and tickled. I spent time with Jessica riding in the car and talking. Noah and I snuggled last night and chatted about the day.

Friends? Those are especially important these days. It's so important to have people who think enough of you to call you or email you, not just because they should, but because it make their lives better to have you in them. At age 44, you don't meet new friends every day that have enough in common with you to want to spend lots of time together, so you need to really TREASURE any friend you have! It's great to be able to help your friends, be needy with your friends, to laugh with them, cry with them, to feed their animals when they have to be away, to taste their special recipes and to share yours, and to just have someone to laugh with over stuff your family's heard a thousand times.

Some other things to stop and notice (that aren't negative things on the news):
*the night sky - have you had time to look lately? still gorgeous!
*a seedling poking up through the dirt - still a miracle no matter how many I see!
*a peeping, fuzzy baby chicken (uh-oh, here we go! see post about my addiction)
*a cardinal
*a rainbow
*lightening in the distance
*drivers who use turn signals (those are especially rare, but they do exist)
*any person doing their job with joy (also rare)
*bees pollinating
*torrential rains watering your garden for you FREE!
*anyone holding a door for you
*any child or teen saying, "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir" and "thank you" and "please"
*any grown-up volunteering to help kids by tutoring or coaching a team
*any married couple together more than 10 years (cause we all know how hard it can be)

Well, I've stopped, and I've smelled the roses, and I've taken deep breaths and I've let them out slowly. I'm glad I took this time to write on what seemed like an uneventful day and wrote so much about things that are around me constantly. Thanks for being with me for that.